As a child, I had always accepted whatever someone said as truth. Santa Clause, God, and Warwick Davis as a Leprechaun were all very real (and scary) to me. One way or another I started to grow up and believe in each of those things less, even though I still walk a bit quicker while taking out the garbage at night (I’m looking at you Warwick!).
Something that always stuck with me was the character of Peter Pan. I really believed a boy could stay a boy forever, fitting into a size 28 with ease and never worrying about the daily headaches of adulting. But all of this recently changed when I sneezed while bent over and threw out my back; leaving me in pain and forcing me to hobble around my house—alone, and with no way to check the closet for a tiny man green coat.
Since insurance costs a lot and the values of the lost boys align with the core of who I am, I decided to take a greener approach to dealing with the excruciating pain. I mean, can anyone really afford to take a day off work? No, because Orange County is a bubble of outrageous inflation, and the cost of living is higher than Snoop Dogg on a Friday night in 1993. So, in an effort to maintain the hustle I did some research on products that claim to alleviate discomfort. Here are the three most effective strains and products that helped me get over my (involuntary, self-inflicted) injury:
The name is well suited for this sativa-dominant hybrid. As soon as the berry scented flowers hit my lungs, the instant relief this phenotype is known for hit me hard. Strong waves of euphoria as well as a creeping sense of numbness began at the top of my head until slowly gathering at my feet. The pain was drastically curbed, and the rest of the day seemed almost effortless as I glided from one errand to another. This is the perfect strain for anyone looking to medicate for pain during the day. Just make sure you practice some self control as my stash seemed to disappear all too quickly.
Available at: 10 Spot Collective; 3242 S Halladay St., Santa Ana, CA 92705
Holy Grail Kush
If a sativa’s jittery high is too much for you, the indica route may be the better approach for your aches. Holy Grail Kush is known for its powerful, knockout effects. So, it’s wise to make sure you’ve cleared your calendar for the rest of your day before entering the ring with this heavy hybrid. For patients who aren’t familiar, these buds were made famous by a chalice that almost killed Indiana Jones. As the flower child of OG and Kosher Kush, these budlings are bold and spicy. The snazzy one-liners I’ve conjured up in my head don’t do these greens justice, so I’ll just say that after smoking a fat bowl of Holy Grail, I unintentionally fell asleep. Once I woke up and realized what year it was, I also realized my back felt like a million bucks.
Available at: Evergreen; 1320 E. Edinger Ave., Santa Ana, CA 92705
Papa & Barkley
The 3:1 THC/CBD medicated balm is a game changer. Once applied to sneeze-raddled muscles, I felt a cloud of relief come over my entire back. Fast absorbing and free of any harmful additives or dyes, this product is a must have for anyone experiencing debilitating pain anywhere on the body. The affordable price, as well as the lab-tested results, speak for themselves. If pain and stiffness is something you’ve dealt with daily then Papa & Barkley’s line of CBD rich tinctures and balm should always be within reach.
Available at: People’s OC; 2721 S. Grand Ave., Santa Ana, CA 92705
King Harvest Wellness ‘Synergy’ 1:1 Tincture
Nothing is better for torn up muscles than CBD. This tincture gave me the ability to stay upright while remaining totally coherent for four hours with hardly any pain. You can put five to six drops under your tongue for relatively instant onset, or you can put it in your coffee or drink and wait an hour for the effects. Either way, the impact this ratio and product has on your body is ideal for muscle pain, cramps, spasms, and blown out backs. It also makes you feel like you’re waltzing on buoyant cotton clouds. King Harvest’s Synergy tincture should be an essential secret weapon in everyone’s muscular recoveries.
Available at: 420 Central; 420 W. Central Ave., Santa Ana, Ca, 92707