Monday Munchies: Burgers, Bros and Thots!

Normally, our Monday Munchies column is intended to be a tasty guide to local eateries catering to the appetite of someone that’s just smoked their own weight in cannabis – but today we’re gonna do you a favor by calling out a viral food spot you should avoid like the plague.

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WOW 😱 it’s official. I just landed the cover of the first ever issue of @irvineweekly publication, over 100,000 copies being circulated around Irvine today 🙏🏻 the @groundhouseburger Magical Burger has officially shaken up the burger industry, & like our brand we are the most disruptive burger restaurant in the game! Non-confirming, pedal to the metal, all gas no breaks, we are original & we are authentic. Love me or hate me, I am who I am, & our brand is what it is. Behind that magical burger is my cheesy smile with that checkmate grin, because in less than 3 months we have made a statement, and that statement has now been documented for eternity. We ain’t stopping now. We want all the smoke 🍔🦄💚💛💜💙🏆@groundhouseburger #CoverShotsOnly LINK IN MY BIO . . . . . . . . . . #groundhouseburger #burger #eat #food #foodie #igfoodie #foodporn #igfood #9gag #tats #sushi #fish #jakepaul #bikes #hypebeast #crazyfood #ocfoodie #icecream #desserts #pastries #cakes #cupcakes #fitness #irvine #shabshabu #diet #irvine #newport #cheeseburgers @eater @eatfamous @foodbeast @thisisinsiderfood @buzzfeedfood

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Last weekend, 4th Street Market welcomed the arrival of Ground House Burgers, the Irvine-bred burger boutique that brought you the giant unicorn turd known as the Magical Burger. No doubt the establishment’s been basking in its viral fame on social media, parlaying the hype into a Downtown Santa Ana location branching off from their flagship at Trade Food Hall. It’s also resulted in the spread of viral douchebaggery courtesy of its owner Bear Degidio (Ground House’s self-proclaimed “Burger God”). He also happens to be the LA Weekly’s Director of Digital hired by Brian Calle who somehow managed to get his Magical Burger and an advertorial of his business on the cover Calle’s rack-stealing beige rag Irvine Weekly. The conflict of interest makes our stomach turn almost as much as the burger itself.

As an unapologetically flamboyant, suit-wearing burger bro, part of Degidio’s schtick is pumping out highly caffeinated social media videos promoting himself and his meaty creations. In December, Ground House promoted a video of Degidio chowing down on the holiday-themed “Jingle Burger”– a meatball and fried cheese monstrosity piled on top of a hamburger patty. It’s basically a mound of heartburn sandwiched between a candy cane striped bagel bun.

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LADIES & GENTLEMAN, BOYS & GIRLS, CHILDREN OF ALL AGES @groundhouseburger did it again!!! WE ARE DROPPING THE JINGLE BURGER THIS FRIDAY THE 7TH, at 11:30AM!!! A MEATBALL + PATTY + PARMESAN CHEESE CRISP + MELTED MOZZARELLA + MARZANO MARINARA SAUCE + OUR CHRISTMAS BUN 🎅🏻💨🎅🏻 GIVEAWAY!!!!!!!!!! TAG 3 FRIENDS + WHAT CITY YOU’RE IN & @shiptgroceries WILL BE GIVING AWAY A BRAND NEW APPLE WATCH + SPECIAL SURPRISE FOR ONE OF THE FIRST 30 IN LINE 🍔🤘🏻🍔 THE JINGLE BURGER IS HERE LADIES AND GENTLEMAN!!!!!!! BURGER GOD APPROVES THIS MESSAGE!! . . . . . . . . . #groundhouseburger #burger #eat #food #foodie #igfoodie #foodporn #igfood #9gag #tats #sushi #meat #hypebeast #crazyfood #icecream #fitness #la #hollywood #latimes #worldstar #cakes #cupcakes #fitness #irvine #santaana #glendora #riverside #magicalburger #team10 #jakepaul #cheeseburgers @eater @eatfamous @foodbeast @thisisinsiderfood @buzzfeedfood

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“Oh my Gurrrrd!” he exclaims, sporting his sparkly, “Burger God” neck chain and a Christmas tree suit fit for the WWF. “It’s like Italy in my mouth, there’s a lot of meat in my mouth!” So…yeah, that’s basically what we’re dealing with here.

A quick scan of Ground House’s Instagram tells you a lot about their target demographic. IG models and women that spend countless hours in the gym occupy about 90 percent of their online presence which is hilarious considering the frightening volume of calories in each bite. The other 10 percent is reserved for Degidio himself, a man that looks like the doppelganger of Ronnie Magro from The Jersey Shore.

The food was fine. To be honest, cheeseburgers are kind of a no brainer and fries just need to be fully cooked in order to earn my praise. The problem I had with this place was their attempt to include me (without my consent) in one of their douchey viral videos for the ‘Gram.

After finishing my meal there and making my way through 4th Street Market’s sparse crowd towards the exit, Degidio decided that filming his large, oafish friends dressed up as fake-ass security guards while shoving people out of the way to make room while they filmed his big entrance was the best way to celebrate their grand opening. Unfortunately for me (and now them) I was somehow caught up in this lame stunt while reviewing their food. Not only do I hate being touched by random bros, but the area they were trying to shove me away from was the exit.

Once Degidio noticed that I was angry about being manhandled by his “team” he sauntered over in between fits of giggling and explained that it was a “prank” and that they wanted an “honest reaction” from me. Well Ground House Burger, here’s my reaction. Your burgers are pretty cute, so are the women you most likely have to pay for Instagram likes. And if you like burger chains run by dudes that act like Richie Rich high school bullies, this is the spot for you. But unfortunately, loud shoes, louder cars and self-absorption don’t make for good food or good culture. Sorry, Ground House it’s a “no” for me, dawg.

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